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Dealing with your former partner’s evidence

Your ex-partner may use his affidavits as a way to intimidate and harass you or tell lies about you. It is important that you be ready for this before you read what he has written. Also remember that you have the chance to write another affidavit commenting on what he has said in his.

In his affidavit, your ex-partner may:

  • Minimize or deny the abuse.
  • Claim that you are to blame for his behaviour.
  • Claim that you have been abusive to him.
  • Say that you have been a bad or neglectful mother.
  • Tell lies about your drinking or use of drugs.
  • Claim that you have mental health issues.
  • Exaggerate any negative information about you.

You will feel hurt and angry when you read things your ex-partner has said about you, so it is important to remember that a judge won’t necessarily believe them, especially if you have prepared your evidence in a complete and organized way so that it is more believable.

Your abuser may write untrue things in order to upset, intimidate or embarrass you or to try to deflect attention away from his abusive behaviour. You will have an opportunity to deny anything he has said that is not true and to present the true facts to the court.

For example, if your ex-partner alleges that the CAS is involved in your case, you can explain that the CAS was called by the police when your ex-partner was charged with assaulting you. After the investigation, the agency decided there were no child protection concerns, so they closed the file. You may be able to get a letter from the CAS confirming this.

Try to have a support person or friend with you when you read your ex-partner’s affidavit so you don’t have to deal with it alone.