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Checklist: Forms of abuse (3/4)

Physical Abuse

  • Throws things at you
  • Pushes, grabs or shoves you
  • Pulls your hair/twists your arm
  • Pins you to wall, floor or bed
  • Chokes you
  • Kicks, hits or punches you
  • Threatens you with a knife, gun or other weapon
  • Tries to run you down with a car
  • Physically abuses the children
  • Hurts or kills pets
  • Forces you to terminate pregnancy
  • Causes physical harm while you are pregnant

Emotional Abuse

  • Insults you in front of others
  • Puts down your physical appearance
  • Treats you as though you are stupid
  • Criticizes your care of children/home
  • Calls you names and swears at you
  • Calls you crazy/irrational
  • Accuses you of having an affair
  • Ridicules family or friends
  • Goes through personal things, i.e., purse, drawers, pockets, phone or computer
  • Sends harassing messages through social media sites or via text messages
  • Abuses drugs or alcohol

Heterosexist/Transphobic abuse

  • Exploits societal homophobia
  • Exploits internalized anxieties about your sexual orientation to control you
  • Threatens to “out” you and reveal your sexual orientation to family, friends, neighbours and employers
  • Uses offensive pronouns
  • Denies you access to medical treatment or hormones or coerces you to pursue medical treatment
  • Tells you that you are not a real “woman”
  • Uses looks, actions, gestures to reinforce homophobic, biphobic or transphobic control
  • Makes you feel bad about yourself
  • Says no one will believe you, especially if you are lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans
  • Says women can’t abuse women or men can’t abuse men and therefore it is just “fighting” and not abuse
  • Threatens to tell your ex-spouse or authorities that you are lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans so they will take the children
  • Controls/defines each partner’s role or duties in the relationship
  • Uses privilege or ability to “pass” to discredit you, put you in danger, cut off your access to resources or use the system against you
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